I have recently had some bad experiences with a few of my jokes.
Example #1: Jokes aren't funny on the first day of class
Yesterday was my second "first day" of college. Last night was my "Marriage and the Family" class (Side Note: I thought I would be able to escape classes like this by escaping BYU - not true!). I had the pleasure of sitting through the "Introductions" of everyone in the room (Question: At what point is a person old enough to escape questions such as "What's your favorite color?" and "What's your pet's name?"). There are only 12 people in the class, which apparently gave people the courage to get comfortable real fast. Several of the "facts" that were shared last night are as follows:
"I am a single father of 4 and I grew up on the streets in a gang"
"Last week I had a giant red beard but I had to shave it off because my uncle died"
"I am a missionary and it has been revealed to me to go and spread the word of God"
"Last week I had a giant red beard but I had to shave it off because my uncle died"
"I am a missionary and it has been revealed to me to go and spread the word of God"
After the introductions we had to go around the room and read the Syllabus OUT LOUD
(BTW, I for sure have an anxiety problem because reading out loud made me very nervous the whole time. How come you start doubting yourself when you get nervous? I know how to read, but all of a sudden I started wondering if I was pronouncing words right - I almost had to sound out my own name). We got to the "Assignments" section which says that we have to write six papers for this class, all of which have to be in APA format. So I thought to myself, "Ok cool, APA format..." and then my thought was interrupted by.....DOUG!
Doug was the kid sitting next to me. If you are like me, then you instantly thought of this when I said his name:
Except he doesn't really look like that - the Doug in my class looks more like this:
Except a little more pale and a lot more red in the hair - Like an Albino Redhead
When we got to the part about APA format, Doug blurted out, "Do we have to use APA format? Because I am a music major and we use Chicago/Turabian Style for our papers so I don't know how to write in APA."
Besides the fact that I was impressed with Doug's public announcement of stupidity - I was grateful for the opportunity he took to teach the class an important life lesson:
If you do not know how to do something - quickly respond with a bull shit excuse, dismissing yourself from the responsibility of having to complete the task!
OK so maybe that's not a real life lesson, but here are some real ones that I like to live by:
1. Always eat dessert before dinner to make sure you have enough room in your stomach to fit it all in 2. Running late counts as exercise. And so does sweating in your armpits from being nervous (people sweat when they work out, so any type of sweating = working out) 3. Having a good hair day makes you want to get out and do things you would not usually do on just a "normal" hair day. (i.e. driving an hour to go hang out with people that you don't even like, going to the grocery store to buy something that you do not really need, talking to people in your office that you usually try so hard to avoid, etc.) 4. You are NOT what you eat, because I am not a macaroni and cheese-jello-marshmallow-margarita-orange circus peanut candy
OK anyways back to Doug - His dumb question surprised me, but what surprised me more was that the Professor (in a normal conversation I would normally say "teacher" but that makes me sound like I'm 7, and I since I'm blogging to a very LARGE audience I try to sound sophisticated) was actually entertaining the idea of letting everyone use whatever format they wanted.
Don't get me wrong, I am all about taking the easy way out - - except sometimes I get lost and end up taking/learning the hard way, but so what. There's only one Jesus, and even though we share the same last name, I am not perfect! - - But here's the thing (I am about to share another life lesson from yours truly, TraniseDenise):
Another joke bites the dust! The last time I was this sorry about a joke was when I said to my friend, "Only Lesbians drive PT Cruisers" and he replied, "My mom drives a PT Cruiser."
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose - And sometimes you are just a really big loser. But come on people! For everything you hear me say, remember this: It was just a joke!
If you do not know how to do something - quickly respond with a bull shit excuse, dismissing yourself from the responsibility of having to complete the task!
OK so maybe that's not a real life lesson, but here are some real ones that I like to live by:
1. Always eat dessert before dinner to make sure you have enough room in your stomach to fit it all in 2. Running late counts as exercise. And so does sweating in your armpits from being nervous (people sweat when they work out, so any type of sweating = working out) 3. Having a good hair day makes you want to get out and do things you would not usually do on just a "normal" hair day. (i.e. driving an hour to go hang out with people that you don't even like, going to the grocery store to buy something that you do not really need, talking to people in your office that you usually try so hard to avoid, etc.) 4. You are NOT what you eat, because I am not a macaroni and cheese-jello-marshmallow-margarita-orange circus peanut candy
OK anyways back to Doug - His dumb question surprised me, but what surprised me more was that the Professor (in a normal conversation I would normally say "teacher" but that makes me sound like I'm 7, and I since I'm blogging to a very LARGE audience I try to sound sophisticated) was actually entertaining the idea of letting everyone use whatever format they wanted.
Don't get me wrong, I am all about taking the easy way out - - except sometimes I get lost and end up taking/learning the hard way, but so what. There's only one Jesus, and even though we share the same last name, I am not perfect! - - But here's the thing (I am about to share another life lesson from yours truly, TraniseDenise):
Stupid comments justify stupid responses
Which is why I thought it would be a good idea to follow up Doug's question with:"If Doug is allowed to write his papers using a different format, then can I just post my papers on Facebook?"
If you are laughing right now then you are a minority and not the majority. Again, I would like to reference Wikipedia in regards to the Purpose of a joke:
"Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat" or "bombed".
Last night I dive bombed like an eagle, fell flat like my hair on a rainy day, and sank like the Titanic. My joke did not get the desired response I was looking for. The room was silent and everyone was looking at me like I was the one who said something stupid. Umm....how quickly they forgot about Doug!! Sometimes when I get nervous, I talk extra loud, so I kind of shouted in response the the stares:
Too bad it wasn't Halloween because as soon as I said that, I turned into Alex with the red blotchy skin of embarrassment:
Then a few people laughed, but not at my joke, at me. Who cares. Making myself look like a fool on the first day of school did not make me mad - Doug started it. But what did make me mad was this: Later on we were talking about the Discussion Boards, and how we are required to comment/reply to at least one of our classmates posts. Someone said, "Can't we just "like" the post?" aka making a Facebook joke - and some people laughed!
Usually I would just say to myself, "You know what, Tranise? So what! You are the funniest person you know, so who cares!" But last night I felt more like Rosa Parks looking down from Heaven yelling at all the black people riding on buses, 'Hey, you can thank me for that!'
But at the end of the day, sometimes there is no one to blame but yourself. Last night I took a gamble and lost, like when I try to fart in my cubicle at work - it just never turns out right.
Example #2: Be careful what you wish for
Anyone who knows me knows that I love to make jokes about dating - One of my favorite things to do at work is make eHarmony jokes. At least once a day is shout out, "Can you guys keep it down? I have an eHarmony phone date in 5 minutes and I don't want you to disrupt me!" or if someone tells me that I must have been working hard that day because they haven't heard me make a peep I say, "I didn't do any work at all today - I was just updating my eHarmony profile online."
Anyone who knows me also knows that I love making jokes about dating, but that I am terrified of actually going on a date. Which is why - for the first time - I was NOT laughing at one of my jokes when I came across this on Facebook tonight:
If you are laughing right now then you are a minority and not the majority. Again, I would like to reference Wikipedia in regards to the Purpose of a joke:
"Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat" or "bombed".
Last night I dive bombed like an eagle, fell flat like my hair on a rainy day, and sank like the Titanic. My joke did not get the desired response I was looking for. The room was silent and everyone was looking at me like I was the one who said something stupid. Umm....how quickly they forgot about Doug!! Sometimes when I get nervous, I talk extra loud, so I kind of shouted in response the the stares:
"It was just a joke! I was just kidding! Doug asked a stupid question (then I looked him right in the face and said, "Hey, no offense") so I was just making a joke asking a stupid question too (and then I looked at him again and said, "No offense"). I don't really want to post my papers on there."
Too bad it wasn't Halloween because as soon as I said that, I turned into Alex with the red blotchy skin of embarrassment:
Then a few people laughed, but not at my joke, at me. Who cares. Making myself look like a fool on the first day of school did not make me mad - Doug started it. But what did make me mad was this: Later on we were talking about the Discussion Boards, and how we are required to comment/reply to at least one of our classmates posts. Someone said, "Can't we just "like" the post?" aka making a Facebook joke - and some people laughed!
Usually I would just say to myself, "You know what, Tranise? So what! You are the funniest person you know, so who cares!" But last night I felt more like Rosa Parks looking down from Heaven yelling at all the black people riding on buses, 'Hey, you can thank me for that!'
But at the end of the day, sometimes there is no one to blame but yourself. Last night I took a gamble and lost, like when I try to fart in my cubicle at work - it just never turns out right.
Example #2: Be careful what you wish for
Anyone who knows me knows that I love to make jokes about dating - One of my favorite things to do at work is make eHarmony jokes. At least once a day is shout out, "Can you guys keep it down? I have an eHarmony phone date in 5 minutes and I don't want you to disrupt me!" or if someone tells me that I must have been working hard that day because they haven't heard me make a peep I say, "I didn't do any work at all today - I was just updating my eHarmony profile online."
Anyone who knows me also knows that I love making jokes about dating, but that I am terrified of actually going on a date. Which is why - for the first time - I was NOT laughing at one of my jokes when I came across this on Facebook tonight:
Another joke bites the dust! The last time I was this sorry about a joke was when I said to my friend, "Only Lesbians drive PT Cruisers" and he replied, "My mom drives a PT Cruiser."
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose - And sometimes you are just a really big loser. But come on people! For everything you hear me say, remember this: It was just a joke!
